I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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