Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
