oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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