Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
