In the future we'll all be gay
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
