Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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