she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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