His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
