I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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