Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
