whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
