toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
