Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
