don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
