when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
