..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
