I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Randomize
