I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
