If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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