If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
