i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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