put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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