STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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