I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize