is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I need water and some morals
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
