thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
