I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
