Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
