Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I have post one night stand depression
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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