Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
