He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
