just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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