It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
