So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
