i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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