just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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