i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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