Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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