She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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