I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
