She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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