Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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