he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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