on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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