You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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