Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
