I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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