I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I enjoy the company of your penis
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
