i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
