Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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