How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
