My friends, they love my intelligence
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It was a blind-side dick pic.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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