Best friends brother. Beat that.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize