what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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