yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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