soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
