Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My vagina just clenched in fear
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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