I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Never joke about your clitoris.
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