I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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