i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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