just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
