I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
