just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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