I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize