TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
