I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize