This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
