She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
