Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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